The Midnight Saga: Employment

Ok, so I'm starting a new job in a few short hours, working the overnight shift (AKA vampire hours) at a shipping warehouse.  Which means that having slept away most of the day, I'm not working out today.

I'll admit isn't a good thing, only one week through a program.

But I'm not giving up.  I'm simply adjusting.  I'll be doing the workout I had planned for today sometime tomorrow.  That reminds me of the best thing about working out: This is a competition I'm having with myself.

Yeah, I realize that sounds sort of lame, but it's true.  I'm setting out to get bigger.  I'm not going to let something small, like a paying job, be more than a slight obstacle to this.

I'll need the money to buy all new clothes when I've torn my current duds to shreds with my soon to be enormous muscles.

Lift heavy today, for those of us who can't.  Especially those of us who are absorbing the last glimmers of sunlight against their skin before becoming a creature of the night.  Oh, lord.  Am I going to start sparkling?

One Week Down... Five to Go

May 10

I finished the first week of my workout program without any bodily injury! (Wild cheers of unrestrained joy reverberate throughout this blog.  So as you read, make sure to imagine this.)

Though completely worn out after my workout, as per usual, I actually felt like I accomplished something today.  I was super sore and I felt like my last five squats should have been deeper, but I actually did something that matters, which is basically this: I did things today that I hadn't been able to do before.

I'm paraphrasing, of course, from something I have read by some fitness author that Justin would probably be able to name instantly.  But that's not the point.  The point is that I finished my workout with only the minor weight adjustments that I had to make from Wednesday, and I did it without tears, hyperventilation, or (sorry in advance for the faint of heart and weak of stomach) violently throwing up.

Two things of note:

1) I did the complex through the first time with bar weight, because I'm still very uncomfortable with some of the more complicated exercises that it involves.  But, after my first time through, I started feeling frisky, so I added twenty pounds, which brings the weight up to 65lbs.  The macho part of me feels embarrassed that that's all I can do.  But, when I really think about it, until a few months ago, the heaviest thing I ever had to lift was my laptop or a Qdoba burrito.  But today I ran through my complex like a boss.

2) I did my 60 squats following the plan to the letter.  That's 30 squats at 95 and 30 squats at 115.  Though I'm glad that no one was watching me do these, I'm proud of them.  Especially the first 25 squats at 115.  (To elaborate on what I said before, the last five were basically half the depth of the first five.)

So, I've had my ups and downs this week, but, all in all I'm proud of what I've done.  I'm also thankful that I have two days to recuperate. And eat.  I'm going to go broke trying to eat as much as I'm supposed to...

But Sunday is Mother's Day, so I'll probably be taking this weekend off from blogging as well.  So I'll talk to you all again on Monday.  As Justin's so fond of saying at the end of his entries, "Go forth and lift heavy things."

I Think I Have a Sunburn...

May 9, 2013

So, I swam. In a pool.

Though the cold water didn't limber me up as much as a long session of hot yoga would have, I found it much more enjoyable (and therefore relaxing).  There may be nothing better than a quick dip in the pool to lift the spirits.  However, as with all public pools, I felt the uncontrollable urge to take a scalding hot shower afterwards to remove the assorted parasites and bacteria from my body.

But splashing around in the pool (while college girls in chaise lounges looked on in abject horror that someone would be having fun in the actual pool, no less) wasn't how I got the aforementioned sunburn.  

Two things: 1) I was reading A Clash of Kings (the second book in the Song of Ice and Fire series, which is the more pretentious/nerdy way to say Game of Thrones) and lost track of how long I was sitting in the sunlight as my skin began to scream in pain at the constant pounding of the sun's rays. And 2) I forgot to put on sunscreen.  Or bring sunscreen with me to the pool.  Or buy sunscreen.  Or not be super pale.

Anyway, today was a good day, even though I have actively avoided thinking about tomorrow's workout.  If  I can keep this train of thought going, things should be great.  Otherwise...

So, in case you're wondering, and I'm sure you are, I still feel like I'm forcing myself to eat.  But, Kroger has a sale on avocados, ($1 a piece) so I stocked up.  These magical green food items make everything better.  If I have to "eat big to get big" then I may as well eat things that make me happy.  Or at least the healthy things.

I ate a slightly larger breakfast than I normally do on weekdays.  It was primarily scrambled eggs and biscuits with blackberry jelly (I broke down and bought PB&J fixin's) and a huge cup of coffee (I'd like to say it was black, but honestly it was about 1/4 milk and sugar).  Then, like an hour later, I pounded a turkey and avocado sandwich, which i will shorten to avopavo in the future.  I also had an open faced avopavo for my midday snack, and I'm making spaghetti with turkey meatballs for dinner.

Looking at my food intake, it doesn't seem all that impressive. But when you're used to two or three small snacks and a large meal a day, it's a big jump.  Ok, it's a medium jump.  Fine, it's like I sneezed a little bit and my feet jostled on the ground.  I've got to eat more.

Even though I feel like I'm just constantly forcing down food, I could be doing more.  And I need to drink more water...

Anyway, that's all I have for you tonight.  Maybe I'll actually talk about working out, weight lifting, and something other than my own complaints tomorrow...

Or maybe not.

Note: I've been eating a lot more high-protein and high fiber foods than normal.  This is my one and only warning.

Ow. My Thighs. Ow.

May 8

Today was workout day two.  Knowing what to expect from my, let's just call it unfortunate, workout from Monday, I was mentally prepared.  I'm not going to let this program defeat me.

And, you know what? The extra mental preparation served me well today.  I will admit I had to go a little light on the complex today, mainly because I'm new to the clean and the front squat, but I made it through.  I even completed my 60 squats at 95 lbs.

Finished off with a big protein shake.  Strawberry protein powder, blueberries, and almonds.

Stretched out later with some yoga.  That could have been a mistake.  Even though I'm feeling looser in my legs, which is nice, I get really frustrated and tense when I do yoga.  I don't relax or stretch well.

Well, that's all I have for today.  But hey, if you have any suggestions for a good recovery day activity for tomorrow, please let me know.

The Journey Begins... My First Two Days

May 6, 2013 - Workout Day 1

11 am - Preparation

Yesterday I turned twenty-six.  Today I bulk.

Following a recommendation from my dear personal trainer friend, and the creator of this blog, I will be following a bulking plan prescribed by Dan John in his book Mass Made Simple.  Evidently for the next six weeks  I will be eating somewhere around four hundred peanut butter sandwiches a day while punishing my body with an exhausting complex and six hundred thousand four hundred and three squats.  Ok, it’s squats at a relatively low weight, but tell me that isn't still pure evil.

I’m heading to the grocery store later to buy more food. Seriously, I’m going to probably be eating my bodyweight in high protein food.  It looks like I’ll be focusing on lean meats, vegetables, beans, fruit, and all of the peanut butter.  I don’t think you understand me, I’m not saying “a lot of peanut butter.”  I’m going to be the Ron Swanson of peanut butter sandwiches.

I’ll let you know how it goes.  Hold on to your hats, you’re probably in for some grade-A, high-quality, top-shelf whining later.

3 pm - Post Shopping

Well, my wallet just lost some weight.  Nothing notable about my grocery trip except for "forgetting" the PB&J ingredients.

6 pm - Post Workout

Ok.  I’ll spare you the tears and moaning.  Let’s just say this workout kicked. my. butt.

I will take some of the responsibility for this.  I only glanced at the workout instructions for the complex before getting started. I didn't see that I only had to do three reps of each exercise in my complex on the first day, so I did the full eight like an idiot.  But I guess it’s better to do more than less, right?

I only ran into one issue that wasn't self-inflicted: I work out in a home-gym environment, so I use adjustable dumbbells.  One of the exercises requires stair stepping up each weight on the dumbbell rack, so I had to adjust how to do it.  I’ll figure out a better solution to this later.  NOTE TO SELF: ask Justin...

Also, anyone who tells you that high-rep squats aren't that bad is a dirty liar.  And please kick them in the shins for me.  They were just as terrible as I had feared.  I managed less than half of my reps before my legs decided not to bend anymore.  I forced through almost non-squats to hit my thirty.

I’m going to go soak and drink my protein (trying strawberry for the first time).

May 7, 2013 – Recovery Day

So, I’m sore.  Especially in the legs.  Luckily, I’m in decent enough shape that I’m not entirely immobilized.  But trust me when I say that this program I've started isn't for the complete beginner or someone who isn't serious about putting on mass.

I did some light yoga today to recover.  I’ll admit I’m not nearly as flexible as I would like to be, nor do I have the mental flexibility to relax in the slightest, but it was something different.  Maybe I’ll improve here too.  There's no possible way I could get any worse.

Oh, and the eating.  I've only been doing this for a day, 24 hours, and I feel like I've crammed down a week’s worth of food.  Blargh.  But I’m required to eat three meals a day, and like 4 snacks.  I’m putting off resorting to PB&J as long as possible.  Knowing that it’s the perfect food for what I’m doing makes it almost unpalatable… funny how the brain works.

Well, I guess that’s all I have to say for today.  Tomorrow is another workout, and trust me, after yesterday’s debacle, I’m going to read my workout much more carefully.